Humor Bundle

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[Fate]
The college's theater is staging a play produced by the drama club students. The play is about to start. This is the opening night of the play. The theater is packed, everyone is looking forward to the brilliant performance of the drama club students. The students have been working on the play for several months, but they were still very nervous about the first performance, thanks partially to an incidence early in the morning on the premiere day. The club president discovered to his horror that after months of preparation, he actually forgot to assign a person in charge of the play's sound effects and soundtrack. Hurriedly, he grabbed a guy who was a script supervisor to run and collect some background music, plus sound effects required by a couple of scenes. The sound effect student stepped in for the crisis and looks like he is all prepared. Facing the stage, you see him sitting on the right in the front row of the audience. In front of him is a small table. There on the table are a cassette player and some sound effects props, including a detached bicycle bell.

The play begins. The leading roles in the story are a couple in a school drama club. On and off the sound effect student plays Richard Clayderman's romantic piano music to accompany the story line of their early years together. The audience gradually immerse into the story. The couple break up and part due to trivial matters. Time and space keep them apart for 25 years, but the twisted fate will reunite them. The next scene is 25 years later. The scene set up staffs quickly rearrange the stage into a family sitting room. Curtains drawn, reveals a room with a sofa on the left. On the right a screen is diagonally placed at 7-1 o'clock direction. On the inner side of the screen, a phone unseen to the sound guy starts ringing, a sound created by dialing the bicycle bell. An actor walks towards the phone from the sofa. The sound guy dials the bicycle bell every second or so meticulously until he notices that all eyes of the audience suddenly turn to him from the stage. He soon sees the reason of everybody's stare and stops the ring immediately. The phone had been picked up before ringing stopped. Audience let out some soft chuckles.

The lovers are meeting next after 25 years. This is the climax of the play. The audience breathlessly await the lovers' destiny. They emerge from opposite ends of of the stage and walk slowly towards each other. The air is filled with lovers' years of grief and longing, and the audience's towering anticipation for the tear-jerking bitter sweet reunion. Just as the lovers set eyes on each other, the sound guy presses the button to start his music for this seemingly frozen moment. The sudden onset of the loud music startles everybody. After three seconds, all audience burst out laughing.laugh


This is the music our sound guy played (please turn on your speaker):

 

[Desitine]

Six-year old Red has some itchy and painful rash on her bottom and starts crying. Mom takes a look and knows that it's a rash similar to diaper rash. When the kids were still babies with diapers, this happens all the time, so they always kept a a tube of Desitin, a diaper rash cream, handy. Now they are older so Desitin is rarely used nowadays, but Mom believes there should still be one lying somewhere. Mom starts looking for Desitin, while Red continues crying. The louder Red cries, the more anxious Mom gets and it seems that the less likely Mom will find that tube of Desitin. After searching all possible places, finally Mom is so relieved to finally find the Desitin in the most inner part of one drawer in the bathroom. Red cries even harder taking a look at the tube Mom is so gleefully holding. Mom is clueless with the second wave of crying. Anxiously Mom asks if she has other pain or illness. Still sobbing incessantly, Red said: Mommy,...(woo..woo)..that...(woo...woo)..that's... (woo..woo)....a toothpaste! crying

 

[Cheerleader]

It's the season of the Departmental Basketball Championship in the University. The two rivals today are Botany Department and Geology Department. The venue is surrounded with fans and students of both departments who came to support the two teams. From the much louder shouting of "Go Botany Go", there seem to be more Botany fans than Geology fans. The game is going for a while now, Geology student A suddenly realizes that student B who is unofficially leading the cheering for Geology Department is actually shouting: "Go Botany Go". Quickly student A pulls student B down and takes the leading place himself. Cheering needs a leader and there is no time to lose. Game continues raging accompanied by the earth-shaking cries of the fans. Five minutes later, you hear student A yelling: "Go Botany Go"...wink

 

[Home Security]

Three friends are chatting and subject is home security.
A: My home is equipped with an alarm system connected to a security company. There are 24-hour monitored surveillance cameras installed surrounding the house. Thieves will have a hard time getting too close to my house.
B: My house is not as high-tech as yours, but I have an alarm system connected to city's police department as well as a pit bull. If someone broke in, the sirens and barking hopefully hopefully will scare them away.
C: I don't have home surveillance cameras and nor alarm system or dogs, but once there is a thief broke into the house, looked around, uttered a curse and left.
A and B ask in unison: What devices did your house have that scared him away?
C: No, there isn't really any device. The kids were playing and rummaging the house all day and left the house in a somewhat more chaos state than usual. The thief saw a room full of things scattered all over the place, swore: shit, came too late,  then stormed out of the door. cheeky

 

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